Friday, August 05, 2005,11:37 PM
5 Months and 4 Days after the absence of my Grandmother Atok Yah, one of my favourite Uncle, whom i affectionately call Anjang, went away to be with Allah. No one ever expected it at all. Yes, he was suffering from diabetes, HBP and some others, but he was one strong man. Always the 'joker' in the family. Always the cheerful one. Always the one who readily offers to bring us anywhere, anytime, anyday. He was the one to bring joy to my brother's wedding, singing quite a number of songs on that day. The last song being "Suci Dalam Debu" by Iklim. And yes, when i told my frens about the sad news, they remember him by that song.. "Ouh yg karaoke masa abg kau kawin tu eh?".. "Ouh.. yg kasi speech yg berjela tu eh?" He did made an impact on a lot of people.
A week before he went away, my mom had this weird feeling like she frequently have. Except this time, she burst into tears without knowing the cause. Now i realise, how great the relationship between siblings can be. A few days before his demise, he called almost all his sisters including my mom. He wanted to plan for a Kenduri Tahlil for my late Atok Yah and kenduri before Ramadhan and wanted my mom to cook. But he didnt manage to fulfil it.
2 Months ago, he did tell me that he wants to bring his wife and kids to Batam for a holiday end of this year and wanted me to take care of it. And again, he can't fulfil it.
His eldest son, Uzaini, just emailed me. Never before did we contact each other when we dun meet. But i guess, like most people say, ader hikmah di sebalik apa yg dah berlaku. Probably this is wat makes our relationship stronger. Uzaini mentioned in his email for me to visit them whenever i am in KL. This makes me recall wat my mom asked me thru the phone while i was holidaying in KL a few weeks ago. My mom asked, "Kau tak singgah umah Anjang, Farah?" and i replied, "Eh tak lah, mana sempat?" Somehow i regret saying all those, cos now i tak sempat jumpa Anjang for the last time. But wat's passed is passed. I'll just have to learn to accept the fact. Aku redha.......
I guess i treasure my life more now. I have ignored what i should have done for quite a long time. Maybe its time for me to once again asked for forgiveness and a peace of mind and soul from Allah. and i really hope this time, it lasts....
Anjang & Atok Yah, kau ku kenang selamanya.. Mungkin sudah terlambat utk aku meminta ampun dan maaf darimu, tetapi ku harap kau telah ampunkan segala dosaku kepadamu selama ini... Aku berdoa agar Allah mengampunkan segala dosa2mu dan menempatkan kau di golongan yg beriman dan bertaqwa. Amin.....Aku sangat merinduikan kehadiran mu...
Yg Benar,
Farah Farizza.
